We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
No, I'm not okay. Girls are wearing BUMPITS here.
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
After much deliberation I've decided to name my penis "Arthur", hope your mom's surgery goes well.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
He just snapchatted me a blank snap that said "miss our sex" Vagina game too strong
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
