wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Well, technically I had a shirt on, it was just around my waist.
He said if I stayed the night he'd take me to church in the morning.
I bet you think you're really funny for switching my line of coke with a line of protein powder.
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I found your dog. Now we are bros, so he is staying. Don't call, don't make it weird.
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
