id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
we were spooning and you were the big spoon but you insisted that I call you "the ladle"
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
Just used "I used to work as an inflatable toy operator" as a pick up line. Freshman frenzy is great...
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I think I achieved my goal of being high for 24 hours in the same week I promised myself I wouldn't smoke anymore
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