Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
DRUNK COOKIES
Are you drunk or are the cookies drunk or are these cookies that get you drunk?
Yes
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
