i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I just made a steamroller out of a christmas ornament. I feel so festive.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
I just woke up in my ex-boyfriends bed, with my new boyfriends jersey on. I love March maddness.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
in that moment our bushes were one. and in that moment we were pure.
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
I woke up with an empty beer bottle in my slipper and a note that said "it just wants to be warm"
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Randomize
