Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
security doesn't like it when we pee on cars. or maybe just not theirs?
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
Is this a drinking picnic?
Is there another kind?
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Randomize
