Good. You are like the clit whisperer.
sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
my professor just said "the power of the situation"
drink
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I THREW AWAY MY VIBRATOR BECAUSE IT INTIMIDATED HIM. WORST. DECISION. EVER
The nurse who handed me my discharge papers underlined and highlighted do not consume alcohol while on my painkiller its like she knows me.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
I can't open my mouth wide enough to make full use of this snapchate update
Randomize
