nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
Well, emily woke up in Hoboken, cati woke up in jersey city, and i woke up in brooklyn....and our hotel room we rented in the city remained empty. Best birthday yet.
True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
You got kicked out of the strip club for spilling a tall boy on the stage and when the bouncers came to take you out you told them that they should probably go clean up your pee in the back corner cause they didn't seem to notice that
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
You were petting your bowl of cocoa puffs and shushing it softly while staring at the mirror
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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