My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
I was so drunk I accidentally put in two tampons.
I tried to talk you out of it. You were worried about alcohol being a blood thinner.
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I am drunk as shit eating pancakes. I am not the person to call.
they have pregnancy tests at the dollar store
I feel like that is one of those things that you should not cheap out on.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
They can be so fun, drunk bruises are like clues to the treasure of what actually happened last night. "why do I have a bruise on my belly button? oh right. i was trying to turn my stomach off so I would stop throwing up."
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
smoked some of that legal weed last night, felt like God himself legit bent me over his knee and spanked my ass. Never again..never.
You threw up in your own shoe then wore it home
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
