It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He put a canoe in the lazy river at the water and started paddling away from security
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
stoners and superglue do NOT mix
Was banging my ex last night when his roommate walked in... We kept going. #goaheadandwatch
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I got a discount on the lube for giving the cashier focaccia bread from work.
My life is pants optional.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
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