Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
Her stepmother interrupted our sex to tell her it was midnight and she wanted to do a sympathy shot for her 50th.
Don't break up.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
drunk snapchatting is the worst, because i woke up with great pictures of my tits saved to my memories and no idea who i sent them to
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
Randomize
