I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
the igloo is complete. bring your weed and the hat with the floppy ears
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I've just stalked all the hot guys who have clicked "attending". I now know which guys are "yes", "maybe" and "no". I only hope my drunk self remembers.
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
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