oh my god I didn't know your sister was this good at french kissing
Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
I like daylight savings. I don't care if it's 4 oclock it's not daydrinking if it's dark out
seek help.
U shoulda just taken her to a stall and banged her and let me watch the game. Some friend u r.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
I swear after i took it all i did was scream for four hours
my nipple ring is gone but someone was nice enough to replace it with a paperclip
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Randomize
