Just fell off a train. Bad.
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I woke up this morning to my house being turned into a bad European dance club at 8:30am. Do you know what "UNS UNS UNS" sounds like at 8:30am? Murder. It sounds like murder.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
Sorry my friend with benefits tried to run you over with his car
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
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