If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
Sophomore year, I fucked on your desk chair. I'm sorry. I love you.
I cleaned out the fridge, had to pound the brews. I am going to be wrecked for my final at 1
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
She bent over while grinding on me on the dance floor and her thong straps were hanging out, I thought it was a good idea to grab the straps with both hands and pretend to be riding in Santa's sleigh...not my brightest moment.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
He was so aggressive it felt like he was giving my boob a root cannal
You wouldn't happen to know why there's an inflatable monkey riding a mattress on my roof would you?
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
Randomize
