She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
The amount I want to die right now is not proportionate to the level of fun I had last night. Not fair.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
I just had sex over my oven then high fived the guy. It's going to be a good year.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
Hooked up with a guy that looked like Dean Thomas. Mediocre at best, but I stopped myself from calling him Dean in bed. So I got that going for me.
PENIS EMOJIS WOULD MAKE MY LIFE SO MUCH EASIER GAH WHY DOES THE WORLD HATE ME
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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