Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
My right nipple has been called many things but never a ghost pig
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Woke up to a denim duvet cover this morning... why r guys so tacky?
Standing here next to my mom talking to my friend trying to act like he doesn't sell me E every weekend.
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
