You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
birth control should be required to get into college
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I told him we could fuck whenever was concurrent for both of us
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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