Sry I called you an 8
I never want to see another naked old woman again.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I left the bar I'm on a bench across from the bowling alley taking a nap please come get me. I've had three lollipops.
He keeps asking the karaoke guy to play let it go from frozen so he can sing it in a falsetto
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
We drank vodka and koolaid through a traffic cone. It got rowdy.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
Randomize
