I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
she read insantiy as in-nast-tit-ty and asked what the hell does that mean...
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
You fed me milk from the beer bong because you thought it would "Sober you up" .
We're sitting in his room writing songs about America. There's a verse about a dead dog. There's tequila everywhere.
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
He's a cop. Do you know how many times I've said fuck the police? This is my chance. I'm taking it.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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