Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
So not only just find my adoption papers that I didnt know about in my parents house, but they say "child shows some signs of mental retardation".
Pretty sure that this text will cost me like $5 but just wanted you to know that I just smoked a bowl of kush, about to walk around shopping for hookers and i get 3 credit hours for this study abroad .... have fun studying for finals.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Let's just not urinate on things that don't need to be urinated on
Yeah...don't think he was sober. He kept screaming "I fucking love this game!". It was his Chase app.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Yup on the verge of buzzed and drunk. I managed to make my way into my cat's box house to fall asleep. I'm comfortable
I think its a little fucked up she invited you to her wedding, are you going?
There is a lot of acid in my drugs right now
....ill put you down as a no then
Randomize
