things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
im at planned parenthood. the form wants to know what our usual form of contraception is?
anal.
90 In a 65. Talked my way out of it with the i have to poop story. i am the ticket jesus
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I love friends. Friendship is wonderful. I wish the rain was my friend
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
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