how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
This girls a $30 bar tab from being bi
if you hear someone banging on your door early in the morning, it's me with some breakfast burritos, so don't be alarmed
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
We couldn't get our shit together to go to the bar, so we're getting drunk and facebook stalking all the girls who have gotten fat since high school. Any names you wanna throw out?
Oh nbd. She just had sex with a divorcee. On a charter bus. At 10 a.m. On a Thursday.
For Valentine's Day I've purchased six lighters and I'm decorating them for him. I'm on a full ride to an art school and this is what I'm using my talents for. An intervention is needed. Please stop letting me date stoners.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
it's my birthday, i should be around people i want to fuck
Welcome to drink and talk like a Russian afternoon.
Pirate drinking day will be planned for shortly
I approve this so hard.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
Randomize
