I woke up, mistook him for my ex, and started screaming. It was all that chest hair. I don't think this relationship is going anywhere.
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
March Madness means a buffet of emotionally vulnerable dick at the bars almost every night. So yeah my vagina and I are big fans.
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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