Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Call 911 I'm faking my own death so this fat chick leaves my room
Sometimes I wonder how you ever made friends then I remember it's because you blew your way to semi-relevance
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
She thought that based on the way she feels that she got drugged last night, but come on, her turn on word is hello, who needs to drug that??
this is what happens when you pick a roommate a year in advance.. she ends up hating you for hooking up with for of her extended family members
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
Have you picked out a bathroom stall in which to fuck? Since you've got all this free time before her plane lands...
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
Randomize
