Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
we ran out of wine so you tried to make some by throwing grapes and nail polish remover in a blender.
the guy that filmed erin andrews naked got 27 months in jail. Every man that's seen it should send him cigs and a nail file baked in a cake. We owe it to him.
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
so, what part of "he's slept with a guy" do you not understand?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
We were in the hot tub...he ate the pizza pocket directly out of my mouth
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Thinking about wearing all black to the bar tonight since I'll be attending my liver's funeral.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
