How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
You told me you would ride a pig into the night sky screaming, "I wear my sunglasses at night"
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
I knew there was a problem when things got heated and instead of rushing home I offered to get bagels instead
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I don't think I have face palmed that many times in such a short period. And I've worked tech support.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
You know. You being in a happy healthy relationship is REALLLYY cutting into our drinking alone together time.
Etiquette question... How do you tell your mother that her nipple is out in her fb profile picture?
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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