he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
he was fingering the outside of my pants..i knew that was my cue to leave
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
he called me from germany to tell me about all the gummy bears he bought...i'm doubting his sobriety
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
its like..once you have one emotional drunk night, you can't stop. i feel like i have to end every drunken night in tears and i dont think my roommates think it's heartwarming anymore
I love being high. The owl outside stopped who-ing and I could swear I just heard someone say, "Okay, that's a wrap!"
If there was a build-a-penis, I would build that penis.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
theres a canoe in our lawn. we dont own a canoe.
it was the only safe place
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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