If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
Put it this way, at one point I was getting stoned on the roof of the strip club with one of the strippers while another one gave me a free lap dance. That wasn't even the best part of the night.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
