My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I have a page in my 2010 scrapbook dedicated to pictures of his cock.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Everything was cool till you started pissing while standing at the bar
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
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