Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
I get way too drunk to be trusted with family heirlooms
do you know how much drugs we can buy now that you got that raise at work
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
they adjusted my tv to black and white ... i thought i drank myself to colorblindness
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
Ever had one of those went so hard last night you woke up at the foot of the bed naked wondering where your phone ended up?
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
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