i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
After what u did to that bathroom I think the $30 and the "sorry I'm a jackass" note was the thing to do.
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
I hate how much more visible my vomit is on snow, I need a winter vomit bush
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just had a dream that I was fighting Donald Trump... Gotta stop watching the news before bed
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
