Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
you jizzed all over me and yelled "makeover"
I was blowdrying my hair this morning and I swear to god it smelled like franzia
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
U should just post that picture of u two on facebook with the caption, does anyone know this girl? If so please tell her to take plan b, thanks
Me and the guy at the liquor store are on a first name basis, college is all about networking.
before the moonshine you were already braiding the bouncers beard -_-
Long story short he broke into a preschool and threw all their cones into a tree.
Nothing says male bonding like watching porn with your grandpa
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
