She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Security has videotape of her blowing the boss against his car. Don't they know he entire parking lot is under video surveillance?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
They are going to name an STD after you.
if it wasn’t 100% before, it is now that i will most definitely die a quesadilla related death
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I’m not closing myself off the to the possibility of making a bad life choice.
My dad told me that my grandparents are giving me $20,000 and my actual response was "do you know how many kittens I could buy with that?!?"
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
Randomize
