Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
They put paint on their hands and tried to see how many times they could touch me before I woke up.
Judging by this purple one they got to second base.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I know it's going to be a good day because he didn't notice the bite mark on my butt.
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
On the plus side, he ate me out and gave me an orgasm. But he also talked about robots during sex and mispronounced it like the dad in the goldbergs and called them “robits”
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