also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
I told my rommate that he was pissing on his bed. He said "ok man" and took a step backwards and continued. He then went back to bed.
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
I know. You don't know poor life choice until your sitting on the floor of a community bathroom waiting to vomit at 4 am
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
