after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
hes like the used car salesman of hook ups and closed the deal w my taking him home with me,as is,today
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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