im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
i just ate that cheese stick that was in my purse from last night.
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I need to shower, but I have no shower curtain... I think I can get by with a whore bath and a hat for one more day.
But he's not just anonymous male genitalia anymore. I've met him, I've seen his face.
Good morning! Just thought I'd give you my yearly reminder that we lost our virginities 7 years ago, yesterday.
That's the best creepy text ever.
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
Randomize
