Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
My birth control alarm just woke me up from my dream where I was pregnant. Thank god.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
Dude, fuck the siberian warm up. You can't put vodka in hot chocolate. Learn from my mistakes
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
You're never the same once you're dry humped on the frat house floor
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Just packed a snack to eat on the way to McDonald's. That stoned.
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
