He tried to say the picture wasn't him. Like I'd forget his curved boner.
no normal human would even think about making waldo slutty but you
in my lab write-up should i mention that i watered my plant with tequila?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
Ugh I need to clean my floors/walls/ I actually don't understand why boys get drunk and pee on things
Next time one of us has a party everybody has to wear a diaper. But actually you just need a shit ton of disinfectant wipes and maybe a hazmat suit.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
If he has a beard, chances are, that’s an open invitation to sit on his face
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
