Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
I just left the house and 2 chicks are in the kitchen making breakfast. Might want to get up.
I'm up, no shirt, and staring at a breakfast casserole. Who are these girls?
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
i should not be allowed to orgasm that much in one day.
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
Roommate is high and swore off off the diet. Said she wants to make everyone else fat since it'd be easier. She spent today baking 3 dozen brownies for the office tomorrow and is already down to 24.
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
He took a picture with a naked dude. I think he just walked out of that deep ginger closet.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
When he swipes my v card it will be comparable to my bat mitzvah. should I make sweatshirts or sweatpants?
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
I accidentally left my shirt at my booty calls house. He washed it & hung it up for me in his closet. I can't decide if that's sweet or creepy
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