two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
at the last minute we also decided to throw an egg in the beer bong. and he drank it, shell and all.
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
My rule for unemployment is that I can't smoke before noon.
I haven't gotten up before 1 though, so it hasn't really impacted me.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
He's mad about lube? You know what, don't even. I'm not in the proper mindset to discuss lube.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
My boyfriend's mom is the manager of Wendy's. The same one I took a pregnancy test in.
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