it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
Sober January is a disaster.
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
wait no I wore my bra home that morning. I stole someone's bra last night?
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
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