Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
I just watered my plants with apple juice. Look what you made me do.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
sometimes i wish i was a boob, they get to chill in soft and cuddly little cup things.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Something tells me your "Titties for Tracy Morgan" fundraiser won't pan out.
so at 3am I stumbled into my parents house and crawled into bed with them, I need to start dating.
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Randomize
