What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
from now on when you get up to pee in the middle of the night, check to see if im sleeping in your parking lot.
i do.
the beat of "birthday sex" is shockingly similar to my dry heaving rhythm. it's making me nauseous all over again.
I'm currently blowing up the downstairs bathroom at work. I wish I could foursquare this.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
230 lb girl across the train from me is giving a dude in a kilt a handjob while he sits in her lap
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
I had not one but two drunk coworkers text me and hit on me tonight. I feel like I've finally been accepted into my dysfunctional workplace
They flooded the bathroom and their version of cleaning it up was to throw our couch cushions on it. That's when I decided to chug tequila and go drunk bowling. So hitting the kid with my ball is really their fault.
Do I go to spinning class and try to redeem myself from going drunk, or do I wait a week and hope they forget I fell of the bike?
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
