So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
How dare you. Idk what you called me, and neither does google translate, but you better take it back.
Get your penis over here NOW. emergency
Im going to bed. I'm seeing 7 of everything and my world smells like gravy
Let me refresh your memory. New Year's Eve in the back of my car you grabbed my hand and said feel my tumor on my butthole and at that moment I swear we were infinite
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
My liver is preforming stress tests.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Omg I joined a choir last night...
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
