I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Yes i believe i did use that word. It culminated in a man wearing a corset thigh highs and stripper shoes. All mine btw.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
the cop didnt laugh with me when he patted me down and pulled out my flask.
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
I told you, I'm taking a sledgehammer to your walls. Fuck your walls.
I'm Batman.
Justin just used the term "industrial strength colon blow".
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
It does not feel like it was just this morning that I had a penis in multiple cavities of my body
Randomize
