I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
dude, boobs are like the porridge in goldylocks
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
Well if all fails we can always become surrogate mothers. I hear that pays well.
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
He showed up at my door at 3 AM wearing a Santa hat with a tiara attached.
Considering that your "hello" was replaced with "Fuck yo couch," I'm not surprised that you have a black eye.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
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