I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
While sitting in bed naked eating ramen and watching the colbert report I realize why random sex happens.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
I standby a snuggie being perfectly acceptable attire for drunkenly walking your dog at 5am. Our new neighbors did not seem to agree.
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I can say with 87% certainty that i received one of the world's five greatest blow jobs since the Coolidge administration on Saturday night.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
