Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
You have all of her herpes and none of my sympathy
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
I have good news and bad news. Bad news, she's not in porn. Good news, I found porn.
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
I found the crust to my pizza under my covers that's cool
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
The true debate: do I prioritize going to bed and getting more than six hours of sleep or do I prioritize washing out various grease, leaf bits, and jizz out of my hair
Randomize
