Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
Woke up in a wet suit with my junk cut out. In a strange apartment. Just found thing biggest bong u have ever seen. WHERE ARE YOU?!?!?!
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
I don't want a mention or even a whisper of a Shakespeare Festival by that or any other name including, but not limited to, a fucking Renaissance Fair. Are we clear? It will be a DEALBREAKER .
You're the second person to offer to fuck me in the bathroom at work. Idk whether I should feel honored, or if cvs is just a turn on.
I'm to childless and to single to be asking myself why I'm so sticky
Accidentally texted co-worker instead of bf “I’m wfh tomrw. Nooner? 💦”
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
